Today is Mother's Day and I feel like this "holiday" is meant for the children in our lives, they are reason we are mothers. My mother was everything to me but I don't believe she knew that and that's my fault, I didn't let know her know. I think about her everyday. I miss her very much but I am also living her life and I know that is something she didn't want for us. I am repeating some of her errors and I am certainly repeating her pain.
My girls mean everything to me yet I didn't do my best to raise them. I was told that I did the best I knew how for that moment in time, but it wasn't my best. I live with the guilt everyday and now those moments are gone. And I do not want them to repeat my mistakes like I repeated my mother's mistakes. I know in my heart my mother did the best she could for us. We were never hungry, my husband had never experienced meals in life like he did at our home. She dressed us as though we were wealthy although we lived in a 900 square foot home. She protected us and kept from harm. She did the best she knew how.
We all grow up thinking we will raise our children differently and I we will not make the mistakes our parents made but unfortunately we live in this great big circle and it takes effort to jump off. Now I try to help and guide my girls because as we all wish we could go back and change things we can not. So I deeply apologize and ask for forgiveness for all the mistakes I made in the lives of my girls.
